Absent presence

Last Saturday, I received a card from a sister. The words were indeed encouraging.

Lord, Give me strength
Give us Your strength, Lord.
Because sometimes things get tough, and we are ready to quit.
Give us Your love, Lord.
Because sometimes people reject us, and we are tempted to hate.
Give us Your eyes, Lord.
Because sometimes life get dark, and we lose our way.
Give us Your courage, Lord.
Becaused often we are put under pressure, and it's hard to do what is right.
Give us Yourself, Lord.
Because our hearts were made for You, and we will not rest until we rest in You.

Thank you God, for this sister's love. Guess missing a couple of service, my absence was a kind of presence to her.

While writing this 'absence is present', it reminded me someone. His absence is always present to me. Hope these words, not only encourages me but this person too, and those who read it.

Worker ants who are willing

Taking off for whole of next week. I really need that break.

However, things are diffcult. But I need to thank God still, for He has providing help in the midst of all. I am just one of the worker ant. There are many still, who are willing.

In the midst to getting help, I recall this verse in the Amplified version:

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you"

Dear Lord,
Yes, be a good cheer even in times of adversity. Lord, thank you for this verse. I really find strength and comfort in them.. Lord, bless those who are willing to walk extra mile in helping me.... Amen!

Time to let go

The grinning simle on his face was so satisfying. Thanks to the lego set that he just bought. It was a ship model and come with a sea serpent. He could not wait to fix it.

He started to play these blocks at the age of 9 months. Just when the time he was able to sit up properly. I dumped him these blocks to keep him occupied so that I could do other things. He could sit for hours with them. Indeed, this boy grew up with these building blocks.

Even now, the love of this blocks did not stop. He saves his pocket monies for it. Looking at him, fixing his new toy, I know he has grew up. His voice is breaking. He sounds husky. And he is looking forward to grow taller than me. Well, cannot deny I am the shortie now. Guess,it is time to let go, slowly but surely. This young man need to learn to handle matters more independently, make decisions in the right attitude, and Godly ways.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for this blessing. In the midst of all chaos, I want to give thanks still. I know Father, You know all things and how much we have gone through. Dear Lord, You are the Father to him and my gal now. Though, both of them may not know how to love you, but they cannot deny that You are there, watching all of us. I pray these days that You provide me the wisdom to deal with these growing ups. Teach me when the time to let go and the time to discipline. Lord, help me to guide them in godly ways. Show me how to love them in the liberating manner so to free them the way they want to be....I release both of my children onto Your hands... Amen

Mercy and grace

December, what a month that full of season's greetings. Christmas songs continously playing in the shopping malls. Where ever you go, dressed up Xmas's trees just telling you is Christmas time. However, all these appearances do not help me to enjoy this end of the year.

This month, I experience the most spiritual dryness in my entire five years Christian life. Work, relationships, finances, legal stuff have been giving me a bit of problem. Even the roof over me and my children's head, has been giving me trouble too.

This is the most difficult time I suppose, for this year. I start asking. Where are you, God? Did You hear my prayers? I ask myself, have I lose my faith? Is my heart turning cold? The more I want to believe, the more I doubt. What happen? Have I succumbed to the environment and circumstances that I start doubting God?

Its seems that the more I want to talk about faith, the more I got tested. I am afraid and tired. But then, who can I go to? There is no one, except the Heavenly Father, who is just watching all the earth that He has created.

The earth that He has created for good, the earth that has fallen, and one day He will be sure to restore it back to the original. This reminded me that I have read from a book: Life is difficult, God is merciful, Heaven is sure.

Dear Lord,
Although what I am going through may just little things in Your creation and plans. But I still want to ask for Your mercy and grace to spare me and my children. Forgive me when I doubt, forgive me when I see things more than You. Father, I don't know what to say, I really don't know what to pray now. All I can ask is Your mercy and your grace....... Amen!

He is there

As I am going through a dry patch in my spiritual life in the the midst disappointments and frustrations... I read this, I cannot agree more with the writer....

Henri Nouwen :
"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as a clear cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is the fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, ther is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowledge surrounding darkness..... But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy that no one shall take away from us"

Lord, I believe and want to believe. To hang on for what God already pre-commit, promising a future and eternal life. For Your Love remains forever and Your Promises never ever failed! Amen!

I believe

I believe in the sun
even when it isn't shining
I believe in love
even when I am alone
I believe in God
even when He is silent

I believe and I want to believe....

Jesus is my Boss

Feeling very depressed over the meeting last evening. Indeed, in this secular world, it is not what you are good at or what you can do, but who are you working with. The power struggle is so prevalent, epecially in my working place.

As I asked God for guidance in some matters, I bumped into this verse on the daily manna website :-

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers".......... Psalm 1:1-3 NIV

Indeed, these verses again promises and the way of life God want me to live. Blessings come with obedience, that it is. Doing what is right in God's eyes and pleasing Him, blessings will never fall short from the most high God.

Dear God,
You are my boss. Ultimately, I am reporting to you and no body else. You know the situation right down here, where office politics, power struggle is so prevalent. Lord, empower me with Your wisdom in dealing all matters here. Help me to use the correct text when writing. Teach me these days in relying more on You than anything else.. I ask for Your mercy, grace, strength and Your provisions... In Jesus's name, I pray...... Amen

A warrior in Maple Story

Recently, I am hooked onto a online game - Maple Story. You need to create your desired character and fight through to obtain the levels.

I am a warrior in this game. I think I am one of the oldest gamer. They may be many more. It just that on one will know who are you, age or even sex, etc etc. All the personal information is based on the character you created.

I would say most of the gamers are children. It was the language they use is funny. I need to take some time to understand what they are talking about. Being new player in this game, I was not sure about the keys I need to hit. They are some dishonest players in the game who took my stuff when I dropped them accidentally. No one owed up when I ask them to return.

My son is my guide in this game. He helps me along the way like what level to use what weapons. He comments was "Mum, this is a real world. Be realistic, people will take advantage on you if you are careless, or try to be nice."

His remarks scared me. At the age of twelve, he realized how the 'real' world is through a game. The 'KS - kia soo' mentality has deeply implanted into these young minds. I hope through this game, our mother and son's relationship is closer and also to impart the correct principal and values in life to him. The way of life that God want us to be - a upright, honest, kind and generous person.

Persevere against all odds

The speedy recovery of mum's condition is a mircale to me. Doctors given six months for her to recover. But she took less than 3 months. Our prayers answered. However, she believed in her gods and godessess worked.

I always find difficulties to evangelise to those who know me. One of the remarks would be: If your Jesus is so good, why He did not fix your marriage? why He allow your children to be fatherless? I have no answers for them. But I do know God has not finished His work with me and He is still working, in me and my children.

When I recalled all these remarks, a word came to me. Perseverance. Perservance against all odds. Perseverance in my faith in Jesus, continue to believe, trust that He will deliver me and my children in all matters and circumstances.

In James 1:12 'Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

I believe He promises is overflowing for those who persevere in believing and trusting Him in all difficult situations.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for Your word this afternoon. Thank you for my mum's conditions. Indeed, she is very much better now. I dont know how to love her or communicate with her better. I really dont know. But I do want her to be well. I am discouraged some times. Lord, You are aware my desire of my hearts. I commit and surrender all of them to You. You take care of them Lord...... Amen

Heap of burning coals

This morning, I received a devotion note....

Romans 12:20 - "If you enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give me something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

A verse in Proverbs 25:21-22 :
"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head:..

These words - heap of burning coals have kept me thinking for the day.
Tonight, I turned to my study bible for these words...

The above commands sounds almost impossible. Why Paul commanded it? In this study bible, forgiveness is the key to above verses. It said, when someone hurts you deeply, instead of giving him what he deserves, befriend him. Forgiveness may break a cycle of retailation and lead to mutual reconciliation. It may make the enemy feel ashamed and change his or her ways. By contrast, repaying evil to evil hurts you just as much as it hurts your enemy. Even if you enemy never repents, forgving him or her will free you of a heavy load of bitterness. Lastly forgiveness involve both attitudes and actions. Appropriate actions may send a signal of restoration of relationship and lead to right feelings....

Dear Lord,
Thank you for your words tonight. I ask for your forgiveness that I have judged people over their testimonies who glorify themselves more than glorifying You. Lord, forgive me and help me to have a forgiving spirit too. Heaps of burning coals not only telling me about forgiveness, it also tell me about kindness.. Lord, help me to simle and keep my spirit quiet for the least when I am with some unpleasant people.... Lord, help me and teach me Your ways to have a right attitudes and actions in all relationship matters...... Amen

A star upon the dark sky

Last night, there was a star upon the dark clear sky. It shone extremely bright. It was also motionless, compared to the rest of them that twinkled away.

When I looked at this star, I just felt the sense of peace. Peace from the most high God. Just when the road became too rough, when I was crying out for love, when I was and even now weathering with loneliness, when peace could not be found. God sent this star for me to take notice. All of His goodness, promises once again revealed ........

I ran deep into my thoughts while looking at the star. All events happened - When prayers answered, I leap with joy. When mistake was made, I faced the consequences. With real repentance, I seek God's forgiveness. Once again, I received His healing, I received His loving kindness..

And this verses from Hebrews 13:5-6 'Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake You. So we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid'.... these words from God assured me much...

Dear Lord,
Again, You have strengthened my weak heart. Thank you God, for the star upon the awesome sky. It is so comforting. Lord, I know there are many questions with no answers. Help me to focus onto You and not these questions. Reveal to me what do You want me to do for You and guide me into Your will...... Amen

Finding hope in this confusing world

"Though the fig trees does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights"...............Habakuk 3:17-19

My spirit is low today, whole of today. Things happened at home, work, relationships.... I just felt weak today. I wished I would cry, guess I would feel better. But the eyes were just so dry to tear. All that I could say was life is difficult and extremely unfair....

Tonight TAWG, come to this verses. Indeed these words strengthened me much. When nothing make sense, and when troubles seem more than I can bear, God reminded me that He is there to give me strength and my tears started to roll in my eyes.......

Dear Father,
Thank you for the words tonight. Lord, help me to have Habakuk's mindset, that is not controlled by th events happening around but by faith to draw strength from You.
Lord, help me to take off my difficulties and to look in You for confidence in these times.. Confident in You that You are the Sovereign God who will do what is right and give me hope in this confusing world...................Amen

Realise His plan and purpose

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."..............2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Watching my girl paced up and down while talking to a friend, I just felt that the caller was in some kind of trouble. Indeed, she ran away from home after a row with her mum. After a long chat on the phone, the friend agreed to come up to our place. The girls spent the whole evening in the room.

Not sure of what they have talked for it was not good for me to interupt. However, she told me she felt much better and thanked me for allowing her to come before she left for home.

I really thanked God that my girl has reached out for this friend. It was like a history re-played when she has that experience couple of months ago. She received care and concern from a church sister in time of need. Tonight, she showed the same to this friend.

Through this, I just felt that God has prepared my girl her for this event. Indeed, God has granted my girl wisdom and compassion and she used it diligently.

Dear Lord,

I thank you for all these work in my girl's life. Surely, there are more things to accomplish for You through her. Lord, grant her more wisdom, compassion and patience so that she can exercise effectively to help those in time of need.... Amen

Jesus, His Selflessness

Just could not hold back my tears on the video clip, even for the second viewing.

Looking at these children and their conditions, my heart aches. And look at some of our children here, that's including myself, so pampered and blessed in a way. Yet, full of wants and complaints....

I may have a lot problems, but still cannot compare to those people living in that devastated conditions and below the poverty line.. Too focus to myself and my problems, I have nelgected there are much more things to do for the Lord and for His people....

Dear Father,

Thank you for the video clip. It waken me. Lord, forgive my selfishness as I surrender all my fears and complaints into Your hands. Lord, I pray for those people in that video clip, that You grant them mercy and provide the needs for them. Lord, I thank You for the opened door. Help me and teach me to work more effectively for Your kingdom.. Guide me to be more like Your Son, Jesus, in HIs selflessness, His compassion towards others.......... Amen

Heaven is sure

Tonight, mom told me that the place for her urn already expired in the temple. We need to buy a another place for her to put her together with pa.
I told her, "Mom, go heaven with me. If you go first, wait for me. I will be with you one day. If I go first, I will wait for you to come."
Mom said, "How sure do you know there is heaven?"
I said, "The Bible told us about this wonderful place God prepare for us."
Mom said, "I have done good this life. Surely next life will be of a good one. No need to suffer so much like before."
I said, "Mom, why do you need reincarnation. No matter how good will be next life, There will still be misery, pain and tears. God promised us this place where there is no more death or mourning or crying or pain."

I have to trust God that this place is there. I will sure be there one day to see God's glory and His face. I have to stand firm in my belief that Christ come, He died and resurrected for my sake.
I need this kind of strong faith to know heaven is sure.

"By the gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain." .................1 Corinthians 15:2

Oh dear Lord,
Life is difficult. You are merciful and Heaven is sure. Thank you for your promise of this place that prepare for me. Tonight, I pray and ask for this faith, a gift from You and a skill to learn. Lord, teach me to exercise it effectively for Your kingdom. Lord, as I write this, I teared. I want to tell Mom heaven is a sure thing. Help me, teach me and guide me..........Amen

My frown lines

I think this month I have more frown lines above my eye brows.

Mom's deep resentment towards her past relationships is taking her to depression. The continuously fretting over her well being is not doing any good to herself as well.

At times, I am just lost. I don't know what to tell or counsel her. Indeed, tonight I come before the Wonderful Counselor and tell Him my needs.....

Dear Lord,

I don't know what to do. I can only commit mum into Your hands. Lord, help me with my tongue. When I speak to her, I pray that words coming out are to strengthen her spirit. Lord, I pray that You ease her pain on her joints. Your healing power to be ministered to her and make her feel better. Let her see that there is hope. A hope that is from You. Amen.

Broken but made whole

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." ... John 14:27

This was the first bible verse accompanied her as she walked through the valley of darkness in her life. Mountains of problems, she dealt one at time with prayers to our Father. Pains and hurts, she put them at the feet of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Life was transformed. From a quiet reserved person, she has become cheerful and outgoing. Her eyes sparkled every time when she speaks about our God. She found the meaning of living. She finds love by loving and serving others. She finds healing and strength through the words of God. She finds hope in our Lord, Jesus Christ.

In her, I saw brokenness being made whole through the hands of our God!

A new lease of life

A Bible in his hands, that was all he has in those lonely years. These quiet times has provided a opportunity for him to know God. A God that is full of love and compassion. A God that given him a gift of salvation. A God has given him a second life - a second chance.

With this renewal, he now realize what is most important in life. Beside God, nothing is more important to be with family. Life was totally changed. From a night adventurer, he has become a family man. Money is still not enough at times, but he choose to do right for God. To trust God will provide all that he needed for him and his family.

Surely, when repentance is real and forgiveness has been given by the Lord, He may also grant His grace for new beginnings...

This reminded me a verse in 1 Peter 5:10-11
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

To whom shall we go?

The plane circled more than two hours in the air of L.A. The pilots were dumping the fuel in the Pacific to lighten the plane for an emergency landing. I could not imagine or explain the passengers' anxiety over their safety on that plane.

The fear of death just right at the door step. Eyes glued on the CNN news with the plane from air to land. It was a remarkable landing of the plane. I thank God for His mercy, grace and strength for these people to go through this ordeal.

The whole episode kept me thinking - There is no one to turn to, only God himself at that very point of uncertainty. I believed not only the bystander like me praying for them, they themselves prayed as well. This event surely left a big mark in their heart - believers and unbelievers...

Another awakening, may more souls be saved in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Real sense of kinship

It was just like those days, where everyone came to my small place, gather together for dinner and a few games of mahjong.

Mum was happy and her appetite was good too. Their presence is important to her. She always look forward to weekend where she sees her all her daughters and grand children together.

Indeed, nothing is more important than being together in the family. I felt the real sense of kinship with all my sisters as mum stays with me.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for all these. Certainly it happened for a reason and for Your purpose. Lord, I continue to pray for mum. That Your healing power to be with her, heal her broken hip and help her to walk better. Lord, I pray that You help me with more of Your love, patience and also the courage to tell her more about You. I pray for her heart to open and receive You as her saviour sooner than later........ .Amen

A letter to my Father

Dearest Father,

The church is twelve years old today and I am five years old in the Lord. How I wish to be like a baby always, spoon feeding by Your milk and honey ... However, my life was full of tsunamis and hurricanes in the recent years.

I know all these would not come to me unless they passed through You. Father, I thank You for these storms. They have taught me how to rely on You. These storms indeed revealed Your power and glory, and also telling me how much I needed You.

Father, thank you for Your amazing grace to see me through. I believe that my hands are in Your palms. Father, I pray that I will not lose faith in times of hardship, but to hold on to You tightly till I see the silver lining in the clouds .......
love, rei

Friendship and encouragement

This week cell meeting was at my place.

I thank God that my cell mates came. My mum was touched as they laid hands to pray for her. This might be the first time that she felt this kind of closeness and personal touch from people that she did not know.

All her life, she was alone. Alone to work, alone to provide, alone to raise all of us up. Being her daughter, it was a shame that I did not love her much earlier. Not until I learn how to love better. She did not know what is love either. Her life was filled with bitterness and sadness. But now, she knows that we all love her, not loving her for what she can do, but just love her for who she is.

I thank my brothers and sisters who came. Your words of encouragement and friendship certainly made a mark in my mother's heart. She kept talking about we 'Christians' after they left - Christians are so good. I pray for her salvation to be done sooner than later.

Not ashamed anymore

I went lunch with a colleague today. As we are reporting to the same boss, it was good to get to know each other better.

We talked about our teenager children and our struggles in work all that. Finally he asked the most sensitive question - what's your husband doing? "Erghhhh, I am a single parent".. This was my reply. I found this reply was most appropriate. Ususally, this reply will stop further questions. I have used it on a couple of my acquaintances, it worked. But not for him. He eyes were wide and surprised. He pressed on with another question - what happened? I paused for a while, thinking of a suitable yet simple answer. I told him single parent is common nowadays and I took this opportunity to tell him how God helped me and my children in the early stage.

After we parted, I just felt peaceful. I did not lie and not ashamed of myself like before. Indeed, I have break free from my shame. Simple answers to stop further questions but yet the truth of me. I really thank God for this wisdom.

This episode reminded me a verse:
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"... John 8:32

Although this verse did not mean that way I have today, I did feel free - mentally. Praise the Lord!

We are more than conquerors!

Tonight's worship, I sensed the Holy Spirit's presence. So close, so strong - I guessed I could even smell His sweet fragrance. Yes, I was touched and filled by the Holy Spirit. Thank You Holy Spirit!

Pastor's notes: "There is no barrier in the Holy Spirit. Where men cannot reach, the Holy Spirit can!"

In the news of a church is under persecution. We prayed and will continue to pray that God will take control of the whole situation. That O God, our Lord will not allow evil to reveal. That the brothers and sisters in Christ will stay strong and be united in prayers. To pray in unity that His Holy Spirit move mightily in His works and in all of our lives... Lord, let your Holy Spirit bring forth Your light into darkness.. Where men cannot reach, Lord, Your Holy Spirit can!

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord".......Romans 8:37-39

Lord, You are rich in mercy

It was a challenge to take my mum to the hospital.

The 4 flights of stairs to the lift landing was the most difficult task for all of us. With all our strength, we lifted the whole wheelchair up as we took the steps.
I thank God that today's visit to the hospital was smooth and mom's was cooperative as well.

"Because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy"......Ephesians 2:4

O Lord,
Thank you for Your mercy and grace for our first task to wheel mum to hospital.. And Lord, thank you for Your great love.............. Amen

More of me in Your Spirit

This week my life was interrupted by an uninvited guest.

I must confess I did not live up to the name of our Lord, Jesus. Oh God, forgive me! It was because of my past hurts, my fatherless children, I put all the blame upon them. I know I should not! Like the Chinese saying, I should not use a bamboo to hit the whole ship of people.... But I just want to be honest with myself and I found difficulty in worshipping my Lord this week, because of this hidden sin.....

Struggling at the edge, I turn to my bible tonight. Here, comes His words. Indeed I deserve His spanking, but I thank God for that!

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." ..........Ephesians 4:31-32

Oh Dear God,
Indeed, harbored sin interferes with Your Spirit circulation. Lord, I confess my sin to You now. O God, I truly want to leave all my past hurts onto Your Holy feet and not to take back some. I know it will be hurting along the way, but I want to seek healing by You and not men. Lord, forgive me that I ignore You this week. I want to restore and reconcile with You.. Lord, help me to remove the hatred in me and empower me with a forgiving heart. Lord, I want to let Your Spirit to have more of me....I need to be filled by Your Spirit once again and run deep into Your grace....... Amen

O Lord, help me to be contented

"Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me--it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.".............. Philippians 4:11-14 (The Message)

Tonight, I am reading this verse again. I salute to Paul who wrote this. Indeed, it is not easy to be contented. How can I be contented? Is it being contented, I lost my goal? Will I lost my ambition for being contented? What is my goal? How do I see successes? Am I measuring myself with my material riches, my status in the secular world? Where am I standing now - top or bottom? Too many questions, and they are all about the me of the world!

Oh God,
I have so much desires and wants. Lord, my spirit is troubled tonight. I am thinking of the flat I am staying now. Lord, it is my desire to have full ownership of this flat. This is the only way to chase away the creditors coming with their summons. Lord, I know I need to thank You for a roof over my head and my children. Lord, am I asking too much for this? It is a long and costly process to have this ownership. Lord, if this is You will, I ask for Your provision and smooth delivery for this to happen. O Lord, teach me to be contented for what I have now and who am I now. O Lord, empower me with Your power to see more of Your works than to see the things in the world. Remind me that all these things are temporal and only You, are eternal. Lord, I want to trust You that You will provide the best for me, even in my adversities...........Amen

Disappointment, blessings and homesick

In the midst of fearing of a Writ of seizure to my place, again I thank God for answering to my plea.

Disappointment and blessings, I just feel that they go hand in hand. While here, there will so much disappointment in life, yet I can still see little blessings come along the way..

I felt the love and concern from my friends - in church and outside of church. I was really touched. They are just like manna feeding me in the wilderness.. I thank God for them.

And this book written by Philip Yancey - Disappointment with God. He wrote that
"For people who are trapped in pain, or in a broken home, or in economic misery, or in fear - for all those people, for all of us, heaven promises a time, far longer and more substantial than the time we spent on earth, of health and wholeness and pleasure and peace. If we do not believe that, then as Paul plainly stated, there's little reason to believe at all. Without that hope, there is no hope.

The Bible never belittles human disappointment (remember the proportion in Job - one chapter of restoration follows forty-one chapters of anguish), but it does add one key word: temporary. What we feel now, we will not always feel. Our disappointment is itself a sign, an aching, a hunger of something better. And faith is, in the end, a kind of homesickness - for a home we have never visited but have never once stopped longing for."

When I read this, it dug deep into my spirit. Indeed, in the new home, HE will wipe every tear from my eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

As I write this, I begin to feel more and more homesick.....

Cling to HIM

Oh God,

As the tides are going out, another tidal wave is paving its way. Lord, I really do not know what will be the outcome. But I stubbornly cling to You in this time of hardship. Lord, I will pray more, much more - It may be involved than I ever dream. I know it require faith to believe that, and the faith is to trust that I will never abandoned, no matter how distant You seems.....Lord, in this pilgrimage of faith, I am aware that there will be a time of severe testing. Just like your faithful servant, Job.... Lord, I plead for your mercy upon me and my entire household that You watch over every bit of it.. Lord, thank you for Your word this morning that in all things, we are more than conquerors through You, my Lord, who loved us..... Lord, thank you, even in this time of adversity, I want to say, You still there, You have not moved. It was me that moved..... Lord, even in my limpings, strengthen me spiritually to battle in Your heavenly realms...... Amen

The Lord's way

After a roller coaster of a week, I feel the tides are going out this morning.

The domestic helper is in. Indeed, I have never felt my house so clean before. She has tidied up the kitchen, packed the children's cupboard - all these in half a day's work. I think the layer of dust has frightened her, haha. Just feel so blessed at this point of time...

My gal kept her words. She came back before six yesterday. She knew that I love her and very concern about her, or maybe overly concern. I cannot help it. She is the only girl I have. I really really do not want to see her following my path and got hurt in relationships...

As the Lord said in Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts". I just have to completely surrender my gal into Lord's hand.

Oh Dear Lord,
I felt the tides are going out. Lord, I feel you this morning and I sense the peace in my heart. Lord, I thank you for all things again, no matter how, Lord, I want to trust you. Please teach me Your ways these days... Lord, watch over my gal. I am aware this is a sensitive age, and puppy love starts to blossom. I pray that Lord, you grant her a discerning mind in all things, especially in relationships... Lord, I know I cannot impose my experience onto her, but I cannot help it. The hurt that I am going through is very painful and I certainly do not want to see my gal and any of my dear sisters to experience the same thing......Lord, help me to exercise all of Your powers effectively.... I commit my gal, my boy and all of my sisters onto Your holy hands.. Guide and guard of all us.. In Your Holy Name, Lord Jesus, I pray................ Amen

The unseen world - Be prepared

This whole week has been hard, for me and my gal... I just could not contain my anger and I slapped her damn hard in the public on Tuesday. Oh! what happened to me?? I lost my control at that point of time when I was provoked by her rebellious behaviour. And she was also pissed of with my continuously scoldings..

Deep in the night, I searched myself. Suddenly I realised I have entered into the unseen world. A world that the master of all evils dwells. When I came back to the real state, I was totally exhausted. The mother and child relationship ruined. I doubt God's existence. I questioned many things and I doubt my faith... Indeed, I have allowed the devil ruled me at the point of time. I was utterly defeated.. lying flat of my cold hard bed.

I have written so much about the power of grace, love, restoraton and reconciliation yet I did not exercise them at that critical time...I slapped my own face! Why? And you know what, I was not prepared at all for these things.. I forgotten the Armor of God totally. I feel so remorseful and I cried whole night.. Even now, as I write, my tears roll in my eyes.....

This morning, a sister called. She said she has prayed for me. She told me to be strong for our battle was in the unseen world with the evil forces that come to steal and destory. She showed me Ephesians 6:10-18 - The Armor of God.

Oh dear God,
Please, please forgive what I have done. Lord, I tarnished Your name, I am sorry.. I have hurt my dear child badly. Lord, I seek for Your forgiveness... Lord, I have written a sorry note to my gal, I prayed that she will forgive me too.. Lord, indeed the devil is here to destory everything that are good in Your eyes.. Lord, teach me to exercise Your power effectively, for the battle and struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers of darkness and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms... Lord, help me to stay alert and be prepared to put on the armor of God all the time.. Lord, I prayed for Your love and grace to reconcile our mother and child relationship. That Lord, You guide and guard my child's heart, mind and soul... Teach her how to discern all things that coming to her... Lord, I prayed for myself that in that name of Lord Jesus, and by the power of the Holy Spirit to remove my impulsive behaviour but to think of more of God when unfavourable things happened... Lord, teach me to cling on You even more when crisis like this happen... Lord, I thank you that You have sent sisters and brothers to me and my child at this time.. Lord, I am sure both of us learnt something through this, and I prayed, even it was an unpleasant situation, Lord, You will turn it into good for Your purpose to fulfil.. Lord, I trust you and I want to cling on to You..... In the precious name of Lord, Jesus, I pray, Amen.

A raining heart

It was raining heavily. But it did not stop me from going to MOM to pick up some forms.

After collected the forms, I stopped by Hong Lim to eat my lunch. There were many bak ku teh stalls. I just made myself comfortable with one of the tables. While waiting for my bak ku teh, I looked out to the open area. The down pour splashed hard on the ground. While watching, I traveled back to my memory lane....

It was my third semester in my pregancy. I have this craving for bak ku teh. I just loved the pig's trotters with the dark rich soya sauce. At six in the morning, I could not wait to be chauffeured to this place, just to savour this delicious dish. Indeed, I was so pampered at that time.

And now, my baby has become a beautiful young girl. She is fourteen now and I have also moved into another stage of my life.

The food came, however, it did not taste the same. How I wished I could turn back the clock to that time. How I wished I have the same taste bud as before. But I knew it would not be. All these, will always be in my memory lane....

The rain was still pouring hard and my heart went with it.........

Approach the throne of grace to pray

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."..... Hebrews 4:16

Looking out of the train window this morning, I saw the rising sun from the east. The bright orangy color of the sun looked like a salted egg yolk. It was beautiful. At that moment, I just felt nostalgia. Many things happened in the past and even now, I cannot thank God enough to see me through. Looking at the rising sun, as if it was talking to me. I just felt that there is still hope despite the on going struggles, despite many disappointments along the way.....And this Hebrews 4:16 appeared...

Dear Lord,
I felt a little depressed this morning. Mum fell and broke her hip yesterday. She was about to discharge and this thing happened. Lord, when i saw this raising sun, I give You thanks again... It has comforted me so timely.. And the verse reminded me that You are on the throne no matter what happened down here...Lord, I come to Your throne of grace again, asking for Your mercy to be upon me, my mum and all my sisters.. I ask for Your strength to be with each of us and Your healing to be ministered to my mum again... Lord, the wound of her leg was healed by Your awesome power. I remembered when I first saw the badly infected wound, I wanted to gag. But now, a new skin covers the wound. It is tender and smooth - just like the baby's skin. Lord, I give you thanks again... And I pray for Your healing on her broken hip.. Lord, make it whole again.... In Your awesome name, I pray......... Amen

A birthday prayer for someone special

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" ........ Psalm 118:24

Every life made in a mother's womb is a miracle from God. Today is the day that Lord has made you. You are wonderfully and beautifully made by Him. No matter who you are, what you have done, God loves you. God long to have an intimate relationship with you.

This is my prayer for your special day...

Dear Father in Heaven,
I thank God for your life and I want to pray for you. I wish you the best, and ask the Heaven to bless you with good health, and happiness. May the Lord send good thoughts, surround you with hope and faith and love. I ask God to help you be prepared for whatever life hands you or whatever you are going through. I ask that the Holy Spirit to strengthen your spirit and lead you, guide you each step of the way in every path you take. I asked the creator of the universe to confirm for you that you are someone very special and I ask God to show you His perfect way ......
Amen

What is faith?

Faith is being sure of what we hope
for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Faith is trusting what the eye can't see.

Eyes see the prowling lion.
Faith sees Daniel's angel.

Eyes see storms.
Faith sees Noah's rainbow.

Your eyes see your faults.
Your faith sees your Savior.

Your eyes see your guilt.
Your faith sees his blood.

Author: Max Lucado

Oh God,
What is happening now is too much for me to take.. It is like one after another, waves after waves of storm... Lord, I teared, my heart is weak..But I thank you for Your words again this afternoon through this devotion i received... Lord, I need You and Your strength...... Amen

Lord is here for the lost and aimless

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity"........... Jeremiah 29:11-14

Tonight, I came to this verse. It brought me back to my memory lane again. It was a time where I was so lost and aimless.... A time where I feel like giving up everything but yet I could not... I struggled to go work in the morning and reluctant to go home in the evening... I wished I was gone, but then, I was aware there were two pairs of eyes watching me each day, two lives depending on me each day to move on... Thank God, this way of living was not long because God has equipped me with this verse. It has indeed strengthened me so much at that time. God is the only one knows my future and His plans for me are good and full of hope. As long as God who knows the future, provides me the agenda for my life and goes with me.. I will have boundless hope...I do know I will not be spared pain, suffering or hardship, but God surely will see me through to a glorious conclusion....

Dear lord,
Thank you so much for bringing me back to my memory lane and this verse. I thank You for not allowing me to slip into greater depression ... I know You were there for me.... Lord, I pray tonight that Your words bless and strengthen those are lost and aimless... Giving them a hope and future just like what You have given me.... Lord, thank you for everything... I love you........ Amen

As I draw near to Him

"The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him".......... Psalm 145:18-20

Dear Lord,
I was feeling lousy today. Don't know why.. It could be from my work, or my PMS. But I thank You again for this TAWG, this psalm has again comforted and strengthened me. Lord, I felt Your presence.. Lord, please help me each day to see You more than my work. Teach me how to control my anger and frustrations in my workplace... Lord, as I call upon You, have mercy on me. Help me to exercise Your grace and Your power of love to all who I work with... Lord, show me what You want me to do in this time of adversity... Amen

God, You supply all my needs

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." ......... Philippians 4:19

Lord, thank you for answering my prayers. The bills from the nursing home is daunting, but Your help just come in so timely. Lord, I give you thanks for You are a faithful God. I continue to seek Your wisdom in my money matters. Lord, I have not been a good steward in the past, please forgive me of my foolishness.. Lord, and I want to be one of your wise stewards now, please help and guide me in all monies matters. Lord, help me to learn to trust You more for You are a God will meet all my needs according to Your glorious riches in Christ Jesus........... Amen

Lord, You are my guide

Dear Lord,

Again, thank you for Your guidance and leading tonight.. The family meeting that we have had tonight was fruitful.. I pray again for my mum to have a speedy recovery on her wounded foot.. and Father, right now I pray that You will help us to pick a domestic helper who has a heart for old folks... that this person has passion and patience in taking care of the sick. Lord, I ask and commit this matter into Your holy hands............ Amen

God, thank you for Your great love

Oh Dear God,

Thank you for tonight that I have this opportunity to talk about You and Your great love to my neighbours. Lord, thank you for the courage and boldness that You have given me. Lord, thou they do not know you, but I pray that tonight conversation will be the introduction of You to them.... Lord, I pray that the seed planted in their hearts will grow according to Your timing. Lord, help me to live each day as a living testimony to them. Help me to take any chance to come along to talk about Your great Love and Your salvation again....... Amen

Precious Moment

This morning was raining.

As I walked towards the MRT station, I could not see any of my beloved tiny purple flowers but grass. They were all wet in the rain. However, the vibrant green color was telling me they were full of life.

In the moment, I just sensed His presence was so close. I could even smell His sweet fragrance. I thank God for His creation that I could enjoy in such a wonderful way.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for this precious moment with you. In the midst of all my trials and troubles, Your grace never ceased. Your presence is so real and I see Your wonders. Lord, as You polish me, may You develop a character in me that will last forever and ever...... Amen

Purpose in Life

The Power of Purpose
By Dr John C. Maxwell

But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. ....................... Philippians 1:12-14

Paul might have been forgiven had he chosen to take a little sabbatical as he sat in prison, awaiting his trial. Yet he used even this opportunity to advance the gospel. Paul was a leader who never drifted from his mission. He determined to leave his mark wherever he went.

How did Paul sense of purpose keep him in the battle as he sat in prison? What did he learn behind bars? Consider the following:

A purpose will motivate you.
A purpose will keep your priorities straight.
A purpose will develop your potential.
A purpose will give you power to live in the present.
A purpose will help you evaluate your progress.
***********************************************

After I read the above, I pondered. While Paul sensed his purpose in life, what have I sensed? All the changes that took place in the recent years, what have I learnt? A life transformed by trouble, I supposed. That was it. And transformation still in the progress, maturity comes only when I see my Lord's face.

Dear Lord,
The events happened in my life. Well, it was not what I want, but circumstances just made things forced down my throat - I did not given any choice. Thank God, You were with me then. And I am sure You are with me now as well. Through these, I learnt my mistake, I learnt about Your love, Your grace and all of Your goodness. Play mum and dad is tough, and I want to be mum only, the dad role - Lord, I leave to you ..... Though, You cannot be physically there, I pray for Your presence be with them, let my children know that they have a dad, a spiritual one, that's our Heavenly Father.. And this even motivate me to a better mum to my children. Relying on Your words for strength, and through prayers, things get done miraculously. Becoming spiritually incline to You is practical to me... Through people and things that happening around me, I saw Your power and glory in their lives as well. Lord, thank you for widening my horizons to see Your good works... Lord, living a day to the fullness - in You - is a purpose in my life now... I praise You and worship You... Thank you for Your transformation and more to come, I believe.... Amen

Restoration is His ministry

"Blessed are those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God" Matthew 5:9

No matter how bad or difficult the relationship was, it is still worth restoring. For five years, they did not talk, could not see eyes to eyes, they ignored each other's presence. A relationship that was so broken, yet by the grace of God, it restored.

With God's grace, she humbled herself and make the first step. A step that required humility and courage. She did and it pleased God. Through her, I saw the power and glory of God. And with this step, the communication line once again open between them. Oh! Praise God for all things He has done! Certainly, God is pleased when we are His peacemakers. For He has said, "Blessed are those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God".

Oh Dear Father in Heaven,
I want to be your peacemaker, I want to receive Your blessings in my life and truly be called the children of God. Teach me more about humility. Remove my pride and help me to sympathize others' feelings. Lord, empower me with Your grace to restore and reconcile all relationships in my life..... Amen

A spiritual warfare within me

This morning, bad memories haunted me again.

I tried to fend it off, I tried to remember the good things, I tried to therapy myself with God's words - His Love, His Grace, His forgiveness, all of His goodness, but I just could not think of any. My thoughts was full of resentment, full of jealously, full of hatred to those people that have caused this deep emotional pain which afflicted me so much.......

As my thoughts was running wild, sub-consciously I knew I need to stop it. But I could not, I was as if tied to the bed - could not get up. I cried, I struggled and finally found the strength to shout - Jesus, Help Me! Immediately, I sat up on my bed. It was as if in a dream, but I knew it was not - a spiritual warfare has just begun....

Immediately, I got up and turn on the computer to the website where I can read all bible verses according to the search tool. I search 'Pure' - do not know why and just anyhow click a page.. This verse appear:-

1 John 3:3
Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.

I read and thought .... What is this hope to purifies himself?.. And I found more:-
1 John 3 1-3
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears,[a]we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.

Oh My Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Your Holy Spirit to help me to fight this warfare. In the name of Your Son, Jesus, I claimed the Victory You have given me. Thank you Father, leading me to this verses and certainly it has strengthened me and reminded me again, my identity with You, the Hope in You. Lord, I ask for the flow of Your crimson blood to cleanse and remove all the iniquities in me, I ask for Your forgiveness again for I have entertained these things that do not please You. Lord, I know You aware of my desire and teach me to wait and listen to Your gentle voice.... Lord, I want to go on fully with my life as Your woman now as I returned to my singleness. May You use this quality in Your special ways for Your glory in this season of my life... Lord, thank you for your teachings this morning, I know You love me so much........ Amen

What is Love?

What is love?

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy -- age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle -- age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy -- age 6

"I know my older sister loves me 'cause she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren -- age 4

Look at these answers from the children, they were all so innocent. I wished I could love like them. Then, life will be much simple. But it was not the case in the adult world.... My heart aches when I see marriages at the verge of breaking up. Indeed, is the heart issue after all...

I found this website:
What I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Divorced
and hope it will be helpful for those standing at the edge.

Dear Lord,
My heart is aching. Its really painful to see marriages breaking up. Lord, there may be one thousand and one reasons for that, I do not know. Lord, I just want to pray for these brothers and sisters that may You provide them the grace to forgive one another, Your Christ like love for them to love one another, wisdom and strength for the matter that they are dealing..........Amen

What is contentment?

What is contentment? Contentment means my happiness is not dependent upon circumstances. Most people get caught into "when" thinking: "When I get a certain job ... When I can retire ... When I get the house paid off ... When I get the bills paid off ... then I'll be happy!"

God says, "No, once you get there you'll always want something else." If you don't learn contentment, you'll never be happy. You'll always want more

Author: Rick Warren

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances"..........Philippians 4:11

Trust the Lord wholeheartedly

I received a call from a friend yesterday. Indeed, it was unexpected. All this while, I thought he may have left his job or doing something else.

Well, guess it boiled down to me that I did not trust the Lord enough. In Proverbs 3:5 - 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding' This verse has given me a knock on my head.

This call did make me excited as I did not expect it. I think if I would to expect the call and it did not happen, then I would feel disappointed. I thank God for this call and glad to know the caller is doing well.

Dear Father,
Thank you for everything You have done. Indeed, I have been praying and prayers answered in such a way. Lord, I praise You for You are omni-potent and onmi-presence. Lord, forgive me as I did not trust your enough, forgive me. Teach me to trust You wholeheartedly than to my own understandings........ Amen

Snowy wonderland

This week, I am spending some time to pack up my room. As I was packing a shelf this afternoon, I saw this photo album. They were the photos taken during a family holiday in Korea. End January, it was still winter. I remembered when I took this photo, it was snowing....

As I browsed through all the photos, I was similing and my heart was contented. They were beautiful - the sceneries, the people, the food, the winter gear we put on, the snow.... everything was beautiful.

I wish one day I will visit this place again with my children. They love to ski and I love the snowy wonderland.

Dear Father,
Thank you for giving me these beautiful pictures in my memory lane. Thank you Father that You have made this wonderful sceneries for me to enjoy. Indeed, you are such a wonderful creator, I praise You for all your creations..... Amen

Renewed by Jesus

耶稣能够叫一切都更新
耶稣能够体会你的心情
耶稣能够改变你的曾经
耶穌爱你 耶稣疼你
耶稣能造一个全新的你

I have been humming this chorus of a Chinese worship song for the past two days. It was a song that we sang during our church champ.

When I look at the lyrics, it was so beautifully written. Without doubt, Jesus is the only one who is able to understand, change and make all things anew for you and me.

And 2 Corinthians 5:17 says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" I give thanks and praise God again. Indeed, the verse affirmed me of my new self and my identity in Christ.

Dear Father,
I praise You again and again. I am so blessed to be Your child. Your great love and compassion never fail and they are new every morning for me....Lord, thank you for Your faithfulness... Amen

A mother's love

This morning, I will be going to the hospital to pick up some nursing skill. I hope I will be able to attend to my mum when she is out there and put up with me. A little fear inside me, but I have to be strong. I need to assure and prepare my children to cope with her in future too.

I am thankful to the Lord that she is very much better. Although she is still unable to walk, she is able to sit up all by herself - without any help. Praise the Lord!

Looking back at my younger days, I was the most disobedient and willful child in the family but she dotes me most. Recent events made her heart broke, yet she still forgives and cares for me. I know she loves me very much.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for everything that You have done in my life. I know I have wronged, yet You have forgiven me. Strengthen me these days Lord, physically and emotionally for I am really weak. Lord, I pray for my mum that she will be able to walk soon and be back home with me. Help me and my children to have more patience, love of Yours to attend to her needs. Lord, I commit all of us to you............. Amen

The Narrow Door

I visited the new place that the church proposed to move.
Although it was an old school, it was really spacious. It has a big field, I believe our children will like it.

But, what caught my eyes was the main entrance, the door was rather narrow. This brought me back to the Lord's words:-

"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to."...... Luke 13:24

I think God already knew what is life on earth, what I am expected to go through. With on going struggles in all aspects - relationships, finances, career, temptations, trials... etc etc, I am so easily side track, discouraged and despair. To enter into His Kingdom, indeed, every effort is required to battle on.

And with His encouragements and His love written all over the Holy Bible, am I still half-cooked, lukewarm with Him? How much longing is there, to come to His sanctuary, to worship and praise him? Do I feel excited over events to do with our Lord or with the church? Is my heart getting cold for Him? I asked myself his morning......

Dear Lord,
Thank you for this moment, that I am able to search my heart, thank God, my heart is still beating. Lord, life is tough, but I want to hang on. I want to enter into Your Kingdom. Yes, the door is a narrow one, help me Lord, to put every effort - make each one to trust and believe You like little children. Help my eyes, ears and heart to be receptive in all Your works and words... Lord,let me draw Your strength to keep the fire going, like a wick burning on candle and I desire to be a everlasting candle for YOU..............Amen

Our Heavenly Father

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.".... James 1:27b

Dear Heavenly Father,
Again, thank you for these verses. They are so comforting and assuring. As the world's Father's day is around the corner and celebrating this day commercially, we choose to be with You in solitude. For You have seen us through the valley of Baca and bring forth hope in our lives. Father, we thank you for Your faithfulness and Your promises that You are the Father of the fatherless and a defender of the widows. Father, we thank you for Your unconditional love................ Amen

Seeking God for who He is

This week, we shared a interesting topic in our cell group: Seeking God for what He can do or seeking God for who He is?

Indeed, this question made me ponder many things.

In my early walk with the Lord, indeed, I could not deny I have so much needs, that I seek God for I knew He could do many things - asking Him to make things turn around for me.

However it did not happen the way I wanted. Instead, through the process of asking, praying and begging at times, He taught me many things - the ways of life, the ways to live and the ways to love. Indeed, He has widened my horizons.

In many occasions, although prayers were not answered the way I wanted, He has brought good out of unpleasant situations. In the storms, He calmed me with His presence. In the storms, I knew that He loves me so much.

The only way to respond to His love, is to seek Him for who He is - For the Lord our God is pleased and delighted to see me drawing near to Him. Yes, I have never ending needs, but He knows what is best for me. Seeking Him for who He is - the creator of all things - is all that I need, and He will put things right for me in His ways and in His time.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for your presence with me this morning. Thank you for your unfailing love.
I know the only way to respond to Your Love is to know you in depth through Your Words. For you have said, "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you". Yes, Lord, I have many needs still - You already knew it.. But all You want from me is my heart, my mind and my soul - is me drawing near to You....
Lord, help me these days in Your words, to know you deeper, deeper into Your everlasting love....... Amen

His Everlasting Love

Tonight TAWG bring me these verses:

"so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God"........ Ephesians 3:17-19

I open my study bible to take a look at these words again, and it says...
God's love is total. It reaches every corner of our experience. It is wide - it covers the breadth of our own experience, and it reaches out to the whole world. God's love is high - it rises to the heights of our celebration and elation. His love is deep - it reaches to the depths of discouragement, despair, and even death. When you feel shut out or isolated, remember that you can never be lost to God's love...

By this time, my eyes are covered with tears. No matter how lousy I feel tonight, I just know that God knows what I am going through. He is there comforting me with His Love and wiping my tears away.... Indeed, I am comforted and healing take place once again...

Dear Lord,
Thank you for Your presence tonight, I know You love me with a everlasting Love that will never fail............ Amen

Found strength through His Words

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:17-19

As I was walking back home this evening, a old couple with their hands holding on each other, walked past me. Suddenly, I felt the strong sense of loneliness. As if I was walking down a long straight road alone, all by myself. For the moment, I asked God many questions.

Indeed, God gave me His answers through His words. While I was having time alone with God tonight, these verse came to me and have answered all my Whys.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for Your words tonight. Certainly, they have strengthened me.
Help me not to envy what others have, but be contented what You have given me. Help me to treat this life as a temporary assignment and serve You faithfully, for Your promise to me is Your eternal glory. Help me to trust you even more for You know what is best for me. Lord, teach me ways to convert the sense of loneliness into solitude in seeking You. For drawing near You is all that I need...............Amen.

In all things, give thanks to Jesus

"Be Joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." .... 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Dear Lord,
I thank you for your mighty intervention in my mum's condition. Lord, I continue to pray for her tonight, that Your Healing be upon her, ease her pain and make her feel better. Lord, may You also provide good health to all my caring sisters who are attending to her day and night. Lord, I ask for Your mercy and grace be upon my mum, Your strength be upon all my sisters and me - emotionally, spiritually and physically. Lord, may Your will be done, and not ours... Amen

Where is God when it hurts?

Where is God when it hurts?

He has been there from the beginning, designing a pain system that, even in the midst of a fallen world, still hears the stamp of his genius and equips us for life on this planet.

He transforms pain, using it to teach and strengthen us, if we allow it to turn us toward him.

With great restraint, he watches this rebellious planet live on, in mercy allowing the human project to continue in its self-guided way.

He lets us cry out, like Job, in loud fits of anger against him, blaming him for a world we spoiled.

He allies himself with the poor and suffering, founding a kingdom tilted in their favor. He stoops to conquer.

He promises supernatural help to nourish the spirit, even if our physical suffering goes unrelieved.

He has joined us. He has hurt and bled and cried and suffered. He has dignified for all time those who suffer, by sharing their pain.

He is with us now, ministering to us through his Spirit and through members of his body who are commissioned to bear us up and relieve our suffering for the sake of the head.

He is waiting, gathering the armies of good. One day he will unleash them, and the world will see one last terrifying moment of suffering before the full victory is ushered in. Then, God will create for us a new, incredible world. And pain shall be no more.

Author: Philip Yancey

In The Garden, On The Cross

In the Garden, His soul was overwhelmed with sorrow, to the point of death,
In the Garden, He prayed earnestly until His sweat like drops of blood falling to the ground,
In the Garden, He cried to His Father for another way out.
In the Garden, He obeyed.

On the Cross, He knew what His Father wanted Him to do,
On the Cross, He was mocked and offered vinegar instead of water,
On the Cross, with great pain, He continued to love, He continued to forgive,
On the Cross, another soul was saved and accompanied Him to Paradise,

When you cry, remember He cries with you,
When you are in pain, remember He was there in pain also,
When you are in sufferings, remember He has suffered much too.

For all that He has done, is the great love He has given in the past, is still showing us now and will be forever to eternity. We can cry and groan at His feet, calling out for Him, for His Love, His forgiveness, His Grace, His Strength, His Mercy and His Healing...........

A New Era Begins

Ephesians 5:31
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

Indeed, watching you walking down the aisle with your beautiful bride, I am really beginning to feel my age. The slides that you have put up did bring back many wonderful memories. I believed all the other aunts felt that same way too.

I remembered when you were 3, I got your hand caught in between the lift doors. That was one of the frightening experience I have had in my life. I thank God now for you, that He has protected you and blessed you with a wonderful life partner.

As you begin a new era in your life, I pray that God will grant you wisdom, strength, discernment, self-control in all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

With God's love, it is our 1st anniversary

"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 15:4-6

Tonight, we celebrated our 1st anniversary of Geylang carecell.
Indeed, it is through God's love and His grace that we are able to gather in this manner, to encourage one another's faith in such a way.

May we continue in this way, to come together - praise and worship our Lord, study His words and experience Christ together.

Brothers and sisters, thank you for your love, effort, keep up the good work for Jesus!

The fireworks display in my memory lane

It was Chinese New Year's Eve.

Chinatown was extremely crowded. All were coming to see the very first display of firecrackers and fireworks that were arranged by the authorities. So, we were there.

The small town was bustling with activities. There were stages put up at different areas. Artistes were there performing and entertaining the crowd. The street vendors were busy with their new year goodies business. The atmosphere of countdown to the new year was just great. Everyone was in high spirit to welcome the year of Monkey.

As we walked into the crowd, we held our hands together with our fingers locked tightly. I have a strange feeling. I could feel my heartbeats faster and I guessed my blood pressure went higher too. It was as if I was in love and being loved again - with a man I used to know, who I have spent half of my life with. We did not talk much, but I felt good. Too good that I have no words to describe.

Finally, countdown to the new year began. As we counted to zero, the firecrackers were first to go. The deafening noise made some parents covered their children ears. Then, followed by the fireworks. One by one, it splashed into the dark sky. They were like flowers blooming in front of my eyes, and their colored sparkles fading away like falling stars. It was beautiful.

Watching the fireworks display with our hands held together, how I wished the world would just come to a standstill. I wished I could hold his hand forever. Indeed, this was the most romantic evening I ever had.

As I rest my head on my pillow that night, I knew this would be my ever best beautiful moment collected in my memory lane.

Crying as they go

So they did this. They took two such cows and hitched them to the cart and penned up their calves. They placed the ark of the Lord on the cart and along with it the chest containing the gold rates and the models of the turnors.Then the cows went straight up toward Beth Shemesh, keeping on the road and lowing all the way, they did not turn to the right or to the left...... 1 Sam 6:10-12

Tonight devotion bring me to these verses. This reminded me of a book written by Susan Tsang - How to heal a broken heart. She wrote if animals which HE never died for, can forsake their natural desires and instincts in order to fulfill the holy duties, how much more must we?

Indeed, the daily struggles continues. The pains and hurts I have once buried, resurface time and again. Sometimes, I just feel that I need to put off my strong front and cry my heart out. But life must go on. It is only continously moving along with HIM, then I can I find daily strength to battle on. Only in HIM, then I can find healing.

Dear Lord,
As these cows are able to forsake their young to fulfill the holy duties, help me also to carry the cross daily. Remind me that those nails on Your Hand are for my sake. They are to deliver me from all my iniquities, sins and make me whole. Lord, help me to find strength in you when I am weak and lead me into Your arms once again for healing.......Amen

He Stopped The Rain

It was raining. Although it was not heavy, still not good enough for us to start the fire for bbq.

All of us were inside this small room - a chalet in Pasir Ris Park. The boys were busy pushing the buttons on the tv game controls - who cares about the rain, huh? The rest of us were just sitting around - chatting away.

As the men were trying to start a man-made pit just outside the door, one of the sisters said, "Hey, why not ask Auntie Rei to lead us into prayer, to ask God to stop the rain for us, so that we can have our bbq evening?" I prayed and all of them agreed with a loud Amen.

Looking out, the rain still pouring. I vividly remembered, many times we prayed for good weather for outdoor events - for family or church - God answered our prayers. It would be the same for this time. He will answer! He will stop the rain!

As I walked out the chalet, still praying in my way - I saw snails moving slowly on the wet grass. They might have said - "Alas, it rains, better get a good bath in the rain before I get back under the shade". Yes, it has been very hot for the week, couldn't blame the snails if they were enjoying the rain. But not us, we needed to bbq our food. We needed God to stop the rain! I started praying again. I saw another sister also praying as she walked up and down the corridor.

Minutes later, the rain was lighter. At last, it stopped completely. The evening was just cool - cool enough for us to enjoy ourselves with our food. All thanks and praise to our Almighty God.

Indeed, we have had a wonderful bbq evening. The food was good and so was our fellowship. We talked and shared our concern with one another. We uplifted all our loved ones in prayers and petitions. Finally, we left the place with a contented heart and spirit.

Praise God for all things He has done in our lives.

White Silvery Hair

She just got a new hair cut. The hair-bun and the black flowery clip thats goes with it is no longer in use with this new trendy look. Now, she has her hair neatly combed from the forehead right to the back of her head until the neckline.

At seventy-two now, she has covered herself with this beautiful white silvery hair. Indeed, she has aged much in the recent years. She has a couple of fall lately, but God has protected her time and again. I thank God for His protection and grace upon her.

Looking back how she could raised up 8 children single handedly, I could not count how much hardships she has had - Alone! I could not blame her for how cold and hard she was back then. Who could understand how much she has been through those years? And now, she knows that God understand all of it. God has also given her a wonderful gift of eternity - His love and salvation.

A Love that she has received and showed to others. I thank God for her. Despite events happened which caused her much heartaches, her love for us did not change. Her continuously care and concern indeed touched me. I do not know what tomorrow will be, but one thing I am sure is - God is holding our tomorrows. I thank God that I can experience my life with her - and surely till the end of our journey on earth.

Certainly, God has blessed me in such a wonderful way. Halleluya, Praise God for all things!

With All I Am

As I worshipped God tonight With All I Am, I moved to tears.

Into His Hands, I commit myself once again. For You, Lord, You holding my world. In the palm of Your Hand, I am Yours forever. With all I am, Lord, wherever You go, through tears and joy, I will trust in You. And I will live in all of Your ways and Your promises forever.

With the on going struggle in life, I thank God that He had lead me to this worship. Once again, I was reminded that I belong to Jesus. My self-worthiness can be found in Him. My brokenness is made whole in Him.

God has given me a kind of love. A kind of love that is not based upon what a person does, but upon who a person is - a beloved child of almighty God. Only to be in love with Him, there is no flaw, there is no rejection - but only perfection.

And tonight, I feel worthy in God's presence. To open myself again, running into my Heavenly Father's arms to receive His Love. Allowing myself to receive His healing for the wounded part of me suffering from rejection and loneliness.

Lord, I praise You for all You have done and worship You for all You are.

What relaxes you and recharges you?

"If you want to last over the long haul of ministry, you have to
learn how to recharge yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically,
and mentally.
Here's an easy formula to remember: Divert daily, withdraw weekly,
abandon annually. Know what relaxes you and what recharges you --
and do it." .............. Rick Warren

I found the above in Pastor Rick Warren's website.

What cause me to write here was the line of 'Know what relaxes you and what recharges you'. This line just made me wonder.

In our busy world - with so many deadlines to meet in our jobs, demanding needs from our children or sick parents - do we really have time to do what we like? Can we really cut out some time to do something we love, at the same time recharges - giving us the spiritual and physical energy to move on and press on in every area of our lives.

24 hours a day, sometimes I wished to have a few more hours to complete each and every task that laid on the paper. However, God gives us 24 hours a day- no more, no less. I prayed this morning, asking the Lord's help to teach me to plan my time wisely, to discipline me for making every effort to set a side little time to read His words, for His words is the source to recharge my spiritual energy. To help me in finding that little time to do something that I want, I love, that could recharge me emotionally, mentally and physically too.

An Angelic Protection

It was a Sunday morning.

Looking out of the hotel window, the roads were quiet. I decided to get myself familiarized with this new place - Amsterdam. The friendly hotel staff helped me with the directions to the HQ office. Indeed, it was a long way the office. I have to take a tram and follow by a train to reach my destination.

With directions written on the road map, I headed to the tram stop. Winter was almost over in March, but it was still very cold. The temperature was about 8-10 degrees. With all the winter gears I put on, it was still not warm enough.

The Amsterdam houses were beautiful. All evenly built along the canals. No birds on these canals, but I was told that when Spring arrives, they will be flocking on these waters. It took me about 10 minutes walk to the tram stop. While walking, I just enjoyed the serenity of this place. Praising God for His wonderful creation.

Finally, I got to the tram stop. Here, I have experienced God's protection again - closer than the one I had on the plane! They were only two old couples waiting for tram. A while later, I saw a tram coming on the right, I raised my left hand, flagging it to stop. As I raised my hand up, a tram coming from the left rubbed across it.

The people around were shocked , so was I! They must be thinking what was this tiny Asian woman trying to do - why was she raising her hand for?? Then I realized that in Europe, the traffic direction is the opposite way compared to home. And there was no need to flag the tram, it will come to a halt at the tram-stop anyway. How silly was me !!

An old lady came up to me to see if I was OK. Looking at my left hand, all fine. No blood, no bruises, just some redness on the knuckles. Still in the shocked state, I thanked the old lady and quickly boarded the tram.

On the journey, I examined my hand again and again - unbelievable! It was so close to lose this hand.

I thank God again for His protection. Surely He has sent forth His Angels to be with and protect me. I praised the Lord throughout the journey. At last, I got to my HQ building and reached its main entrance. Feeling satisfied, I took the reverse way back to the hotel - with hands tucked tightly in my jacket's pocket.

In the room, I recalled the day's event. His presence was so close and real. His Angel or Angels were the evidence in this episode of my life. I will surely remember this Angelic Protection forever.

When Life is Tough, Can God Trust me?

Life can be hard - and grossly unfair. When the bad things happen,we often ask "Can I trust God?" But perhaps the real question is, "Can God trust me?" Can He trust us to hold on? Can He trust us to want to become mature Christians, or will we remain little children who believe in Him only if He makes it worth our while? When life seems to cave in for no reason at all, will we remember that God is faithful?

If we're going to be handle life when it doesn't make sense, will we set our faces in the right direction and keep walking as He walked? At times the road will be long and dark, the mountains unscalable. Because we're human we won't always make perfect choices. Sometimes it will seem we take two steps forward and one step back, but it doesn't really matters. All that really matters is being on the right road.

Indeed, in times of the turmoil, no one will understand each other. You cannot understand how much I have gone through and I cannot comprehend your pain that you are having now. But God knows and understands all of them. He may choose to act or to be silent. Nothing is too great or too powerful to stand in the way of God chooses to act. Question: What are we going to do in the midst of our circumstances or situation?

Tonight, I pray, Lord, as we struggle with sorrow or loneliness or ill health or pain, help us to continue trusting and serving You. Help us to walk in the right road, so You can also trust us that in any cirucumstances - we hang on to You. Lord, help us to understand that You are the one that is worth it all - the one worth living for because Your Love to us is forever and You are faithful, always. Amen.

Traveling Alone - Yet, I Am Not

March 04, my first trip to a far away land - Amsterdam in Holland. All Alone, by myself, for a week training course in this new employment.

Never ever have I thought of traveling alone to a place that I knew no one. All these years, I just want to be the only woman to kiss my husband every morning before he leaves for work. I just want to be a delegated housewife to take care the household. My income is just an add on for the family. But it did not turn out to be this way.

With much courage, I was on the 14 hours flight to Amsterdam. In the Raffles class, the seat was indeed very comfortable and I was pampered by these beautiful stewardesses.

In the air, while I was sipping my orange juice away, the plane started to shake terribly. I was quick to finish the drink and put on the seat belt. All alone. No hands to hold. I was frigthened. I prayed and prayed. I talked to God about my children. I asked God for protection. I told God that if this is Your Will, in Thy Hands I come. This turbulence was really bad. It lasted for a minute or so.

Subsequently, there were turbulences but all short ones. Each time, I prayed when the plane started to shake and gave thanks when it stopped. I prayed throughout the journey. I have never prayed so much before, if not on the plane!

Finally, it landed at the world-famous Schipol Airport. All the announcments were made in Dutch except Belt 17 I could understand. Without much delay, I collected my baggage and hopped into a taxi. The taxi driver was friendly, but I was nervous. My heart was pounding hard. I prayed for God's protection again - all the way to this luxurious Pulitzer Hotel.

In the room, all was sound. I quickly gave a call home to tell them I have reached Amsterdam. All quiet, all alone, I prayed and gave thanks again to God for this merciful journey.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for this merciful journey. Thank you for these turbulences to make me pray more. For all alone I was there, but You were with me. For no one hold my hands, but You have held me close to Your bosom.
Thank you for this time I have spent on the plane, I experienced You. Help me not to take You for granted, but pray often these days. Help me not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanks giving and present all my requests to You. Amen.

He Has Made Everything Beautiful In Its Time

Indeed, God is Good! Always!

I believe nothing is coincidence, all are planned by our almighty God.

Our church brother, Ah Seng met his long lost friend, Lawrence, in a coffee shop one day. He brought them to the church on Sunday for revival service. Upon speaking with Lawrence's wife, Cherie, she found her long lost friend too! - in our church!!

My Goodness! I could not contain my joy! Immediately, I shared this after the service. How things were wonderfully made by God!

I reflected on Saturday's night, Pastor Amos's message:- There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven - Eccl 3:1. This incident is one of the time He has made.

This verse made me ponder. Indeed, in life, there are so many stages we need to go through - all the ups and downs, laughters and tears. Just like what are written in the following verses from 2-8. A time for everything. Indeed! There are so many WHYs in our lives, but I am sure Jesus has all the answers already.

I have learnt something new during the Saturday's service - The Eagle. It is a large strong bird on earth. However, it has its own enemies too - the condors. They attack eagles in groups. By flying towards the sun, these eagles able to fend the condors off. This is because the blaze from the sun will blind the condors' eyes. While the eagles are focusing on the sun in troubled times, it makes me think where is my focus when I am in trials?

Dear Lord,
Help me to focus on you when I am in trials. Help me to be strong, take heart and wait for You. For I trust You will surely make all things beautiful in Your time. Amen.

Tiny Purple Morning Glories

Every day, I walk to the MRT Station.

Along the way, there are these grass patches. This morning, these grass patches are full of tiny little purple morning glories. I see these flowers every day, but not as many as today, These clusters of flowers are so beautiful. Their little purple petals are wide open, like hands anticipating something from Heaven. i wish i can stop for a while and smell them.

It must be the storms that we have for past couple of days, that given these plants a zest of life and bloom abundantly with these tiny ones. This bring me to the thought of our Lord, Jesus, indeed, every morning, His Mercy and Grace is anew for us to start of with our day.

No matter what kind of pain we are going through now, or hurts in the past, or even regrets that we have, we can leave them at the Lord's feet and start life a new.... like storms in our lives, surely there will be a rainbow behind each one.

I still strongly believe that God himself can, and surely may choose, in HIs mercy, to put asunder what men and women in their foolishness have only thought to put together. When repentence is real and forgiveness has been given by the Lord, He may also grant HIs grace for new beginnings ..

Indeed, Praise the Lord for all the things He has done in our lives.

1st Peter 5:10-11 - And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To HIM be the power for ever and ever. Amen