Mercy and grace

December, what a month that full of season's greetings. Christmas songs continously playing in the shopping malls. Where ever you go, dressed up Xmas's trees just telling you is Christmas time. However, all these appearances do not help me to enjoy this end of the year.

This month, I experience the most spiritual dryness in my entire five years Christian life. Work, relationships, finances, legal stuff have been giving me a bit of problem. Even the roof over me and my children's head, has been giving me trouble too.

This is the most difficult time I suppose, for this year. I start asking. Where are you, God? Did You hear my prayers? I ask myself, have I lose my faith? Is my heart turning cold? The more I want to believe, the more I doubt. What happen? Have I succumbed to the environment and circumstances that I start doubting God?

Its seems that the more I want to talk about faith, the more I got tested. I am afraid and tired. But then, who can I go to? There is no one, except the Heavenly Father, who is just watching all the earth that He has created.

The earth that He has created for good, the earth that has fallen, and one day He will be sure to restore it back to the original. This reminded me that I have read from a book: Life is difficult, God is merciful, Heaven is sure.

Dear Lord,
Although what I am going through may just little things in Your creation and plans. But I still want to ask for Your mercy and grace to spare me and my children. Forgive me when I doubt, forgive me when I see things more than You. Father, I don't know what to say, I really don't know what to pray now. All I can ask is Your mercy and your grace....... Amen!