Happy Birthday, Jesus

As usual, we have our Christmas gathering yesterday. All my sisters are not believers, but they do enjoy Christmas very much. It is a time of spending the day together, with food - of course, and catching up with one another on the majong table. As for all my nieces and nephews, they look forward to have their Christmas presents from all the aunties... All of them love Christmas, and i hope one day they know that a precious gift waiting for them - thats our Jesus, a King is born in a humble status who identifies Himself with us......

For me, i still cannot thank God enough for His provision all this while... Looking at my older newphews helping me to mount the newly bought dryer onto the wall, i prayed and thank God again for them. Help is always there for me when i needed it.
God has been faithful and i must learn to trust HIM even more......

Happy Birthday, Jesus
I am so glad its Christmas,
All the tinsel and lights
The presents are nice,
But the real gift is You...

Dear Jesus, You are the ever best gift i have received in my life.....

Finally, prayered answered

Finally, the day has come. The years of tormenting, tears and hope can come to a closure with this slippage.....

My prayers is answered eventually, but with disappointment.... However, i was relief in some ways.... Its like its time to let it go, totally..... no more hope, no more tears.... put it all down and continue my lonely journey.

Shepherd of my soul

"Shepherd of my soul I give you full control.. Where ever you may lead I will follow I have made a choice To listen to your voice... Where ever You may lead I will go...."

Tomorrow will be my 44th birthday. I am little scared actually. My eyesight is failing, thats the most prominent sign of aging. I cannot even read the newspaper without my glasses these days. Career uncertainty. There is no direction now in the midst of the takeover. i really do not know about tomorrow.. And most of all, i am afraid of being lonely......

But this song reminded me once again to give God all my fears and anxieties....

Dear Lord,

I must admit sometimes, i fear for nothing. Knowing that You are a God of all creation. Knowing that You know how many strands of hair i have, yet i still fret over all these things... Lord, i am weak these days, very. The surrounding circumstances scare me off terribly. Lord, i ask that You provide me the strength, widsom and discerning for all the things around me. Guide and lead me the way You want me to be... I truly believe all things happening for a reason... I give you the control of my life................Amen

HE Provide

Two days here in Shanghai to train the branch colleagues on the new trading application. Hiccups here and there, but was resolved finally.

And this morning, i worship our Lord, God with this song........

"When the ocean rise and thunders roar, i will soar with you above the storms.
Father you are King over the flood, i will be still and know You are GOD"


Dear Lord,
Thank you for bringing me here to see Your Powers again.... Thank you Lord, for giving me a calm spirit when problem arises and Your provision for all the things that i have worked in this place....

Lord, this morning, i ask and pray that you continue to guide and lead me in he coming meetings... Not by my might, but the power of your Holy Spirit that provide the wisdom for me in all things.......Amen

爱你需要勇气

我要永永远远来爱你
我要永永远远渴慕你
你的爱最美
叫我不阻想念你
只愿与你
面对面


Dear Lord,
I long to see your face, loving you need a lot of courage but i am weak sometimes....
Loving You is to see more of You then me...........
Lord, I want to see You more, ONLY YOU can keep me pure...

Beary special mom

Another Mother's Day, cannot thank God enough for them. Although growing up pain is inevitable, but I believe and trust God is there and will will help us.

Ah gal is sweet sixteen this year. A single parent home has made her even more mature compare those who are of the same age. She will be sitting for her O levels soon and i see that she is studying hard. I pray that God will guide her in her studies, not only that, but also in her relationships with the other gender.

Very anxious mum indeed. But i just have and need to continue to trust HIM and keep reminding myself of His words :-

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgivings, present your requests to God"........... Philippians 4:5-7

Dear Lord,

I give You thanks again for these children. Indeed, they are growing up and i understand growing up pain is inevitable... But God, i need the wisdom, to guide them into young adults... Lord, help me in this area so that i can guide the way You want them to be..... Lord, please provide with the discernment over relationships and in all things that come along................... Amen

Coming Home

He lost so much weight. A 1.8m man, he looks even much taller with his slim figure to me..... I dont even recognise him for a moment. He was there, first time in our church..... He has been through a lot of set backs - finance, family, relationships etc etc..... Tonight, he came before the Lord.....

Looking at him, i thank God for bringing him to His house this evening.... This brother's presence reminded me a Chinese worship song and my favourite too :-

耶稣能够叫一切都更新
耶稣能够体会你的心情
耶稣能够改变你的曾经
耶穌爱你 耶稣疼你
耶稣能造一个全新的你

Yes, only Jesus is able to make all things new and in of verse, He say:-

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." ... Matthew 11:28

Indeed, only in HIM, we find absolute peace and rest...

Dear Lord,
Thank you for bringing this long lost brother back. I pray that this brother will continue to seek You. For You are the only One able to help him in all aspects.... Lord, strengthen this brother when he is weak.. bless his work through his hands, help him with his finances and provide him with discernment over his relationships.............................................Amen

His timing for a purpose

A week in Jakarta again. Praise the Lord, the project go live without any more significant issues.

i give thanks to God for all these. Truly trust His timing and decision on all things. This stand still in end March has actually given me the opportunity to learn in depth of another application. i don't think i will get this chance back home. The knowledge in this area indeed given a better understanding and it really helped in my future of similar projects.

Trust that this week, will be my last visit on this project to Jakarta office.

Dear Lord,
I give you thanks for the project finally gone live.. And i thank You for sending brothers and sisters to pray for me. Those that don't really know you have also given me a word of encouragement.....I was touched by the concern and love.... I pray that they will come to know you one day, that You are the almighty God who have delivered me.....who had did wonders and miracles beyond human comprehension.... Lord, strengthen me these days for i am easily weakened ... May your Holy Spirit be my guide and lead me in your righteous ways.............Amen

Defeated soldier

Today, i was like a veteran soldier defeated awfully...

The project suppose to kick off but is stand still now and dont know what to do here in Jakarta for the rest of the week. Very depressed - physically, mentally tired also.

I really want to go home. I miss my children and dogs badly today...

Forgiveness

This morning, i received a mail from a church friend.

The mail was about a young woman who has a bad past wanting to marry the pastor's son. And that created some tensions and arguments within the church members. Finally, the pastor's son spoke and here was his statement:-

"My fiance's past is not what is on trial here.
What you are questioning is the ability of the blood of Jesus to wash away sin.
Today you have put the blood of Jesus on trial.
So, does it wash away sin or not?"

Indeed, i agreed with the writer that, we bring up the past as a weapon against our brothers and sisters ----- forgetting our sins, big or small ones, were forgiven by the Blood of Jesus.

And knowing through HIM, we are forgiven, i think to learn to forgive ourselves is also important. i remembered there was a stage, i could not forgive myself for those things that i have done in my past. Life was without joy, even though i knew Jesus has forgiven me as i repented..

Learning to forgive myself and put the past before Jesus is a on going process for me. Each time, when i think about the bad past, i will say a prayer, that this was past, the Lord has forgiven you, and you need to forgive yourself and not to make this mistake again.. Knowing God loves you and doing right in His eyes, will bring joy and peace into your life.....

I cannot thank God enough for His forgiveness and kindness....

Give thanks

Have been in Jakarta this week for a project, but my heart was not there to work.

I was rather down about the payout for the last year. Having worked all year round, taking care of two desks work, all i got was my performance was not up to expectations.

I cried UNFAIR. But again, what is fair in this world??

A colleague came to join me yesterday. I think God has planned him to be with me. As dinner served on the table, he gave thanks. His long prayers of giving thanks reminded me this verse :-

1 Thessalonians 5:18
"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus"

Tears filled my eyes. Though there are many heavy stuff need to be fixed in the house, bills to pay, provision for my gal to junior colleague this year, I choose to believe God to take care of these accordingly. I need to do what is right in God perspective, pray unceasingly and give thanks in all things....

Choose to LOVE

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no more hurts, but only more love" ...... By Mother Theresa

14th Feb, Valentine's day. Guess what,four years passed, however, when i think of him, sadness looms in. But i still choose to love. Only then, there is hope to be loved and life is more meaningful when one take the first step to love.

Love the stages of life that i am going through now, love my God that He has done countless things for me, love my children and my furbies, always beside and supporting whatever i do.... Love my friends who are always given me much encouragement...

And most of all, love those that don't reciprocate your love. Love is freely given. You cannot ask, beg or even buy. Love sometimes hurt, but it only tell you that you are alive with flesh and blood...

"And now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"
1 Corinthians 13:13

Happy Valentine's Day to all who choose to LOVE

Strength and Love from HIM

Sunday morning in Delhi. All alone, worshipping God..

This worship song playing... "Nothing compare to this place, where i can see You face to face, I worship You in spirit and in truth...."
The TAWG is long overdue....

And when i read the verse of the day, it says

"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble"... Psalm 59:16

This is what exactly i feel now. With God alone, I felt i am so loved. Yes, physically, i am so much alone - always a lone ranger. Like a vagabond in the desert.. But i know i have another set of footprints walking with me...i am not alone. The state of mind was not alone, but with HIM, where i find strength, where peace and happiness follows.....

Dear Lord,

Recent travels have taken me from home much... But I give thanks for these frequent short trips have been given me a breather also - especially away from the office day in day out stuff... Lord, thank you for loving me in Your ways.. And just like what the verse says... i will sing of Your strength and love in the morning. For Your strength make my mind sober and calm, and Your Love make me whole..

Lord, i ask for forgiveness if i have done things against Your will and i want to be reminded again, to trust YOU in all things... Lord, i ask for protection this morning, especially for my children while i am away. Let your guiding angels be with them always........Thank you for loving me so real... Amen

A wish come true

Taj Mahal

Once was a wishful thought to visit the seven wonders of the world, but it came true for one of them...

Recent business trip has given me a opportunity to visit this magnificent building - Taj Mahal. All alone by myself in a taxi ride of four hours from Delhi to Agra was fearful. But i just did not want to miss this chance.

Looking at this awesome building, so much human labour and lives spent on it. I could not imagine how deep is the love from the King to his wife and the sufferings of those craftmens. Twenty-two years of building this monument for one's love and pain from others - unbelievable. However, it was a memorable trip.